Check-in: Do You Let Yourself Receive?
Or do you push things away?
Quick, stop what you’re doing (reading this) and go listen to this song:
Thank you.
Hi,
How are you doing? Feeling okay?
Something that’s been coming up for me a lot this week has been allowing myself to receive.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty great at owning up to my shit. Mainly because it involves me saying the not-so-great things about myself.
Receiving though? Not so much.
A dear friend of mine (if I’m being honest multiple friends) has reminded me recently that I am enough exactly as I am. They don’t need me to be of service to be loved. They don’t need me to give anything or shrink myself or compromise.
And one of them told me that I always think that I’m the one proving myself that I’m worthy; that I think of myself as a burden even when people want me there.
It’s one thing to think you need to be chosen for a romantic relationship, but I had this feeling with EVERYTHING. I’ve been so worried that I am just withering away because I don’t fit anywhere.
So this is for you as much as it is for me:
I dare you to receive love.
I dare you to let yourself be seen.
I dare you to receive without guilt.
I know this is a struggle for me because every time I feel myself about to receive something, my nervous system gets inflamed. Which does sound insane, I know that. But, I’ve had so many things “disappear” to ignore that any longer.
I would get to the last stage of an interview, meeting with the CEO, the HR manager wanting to be friends. Only for them to completely ghost me.
The same thing has happened with restaurant jobs, apartments, going on dates.
I would get a taste of something, only for it to shrivel up and die when my nervous system started going crazy.
When we are so used to proving our worth through our actions, instead of just being who we are, we tend to push away anything that makes us feel like we are receiving something we haven’t been tested for.
This feeling of “how can I receive this when they don’t even know if I’m worthy?”
One of my friends wanted to set me up with someone and my first thought was “oh I’m not their type, but maybe I can win them over.”
Bitch, what? How would I even know if I’m their type or not? How would I even know that I have to do ANYTHING to convince them I’m an awesomely wonderful sexy human fairy?
I had a job interview and thought they loved me…until they told me they were interviewing a few other people. And then I thought “oh that’s fine I guess it’s time to move on.”
Even with this newsletter, I catch myself thinking that there’s no point in writing because there’s better content out there.
Why I keep undermining my worth, I’m not totally sure. But, what I do know is that I’m not the only one with this thought pattern.
So do yourself a favor, and let yourself receive.
Let me say it again.
Let yourself receive.
Subtle Activation
Go on and check-in with yourself. Right down everything you’ve received lately.
Were they all things you’ve worked hard for? Or did they come easily? Do you hold guilt for some things you’ve received and not others? What is the difference between them?
If your nervous system gets all kinds of crazy like mine when you are about to receive, check out Yoga Nidra:
It helps reset the nervous system and move away from that fear response. Here are some of the benefits if you don’t want to take my word for it.
Receiving is a weird thing, especially when you’ve been so focused on healing the things you think are “wrong” with you. When we focus solely on shadow for a time, it can become easy to believe we’re never ready to receive what we desire.
But remember, abundance is a projection of you. Joy is a projection of you. Safety, peace, love. They’re all you. They do not sit outside of you. So when you allow yourself to receive, you are allowing yourself to be more, you.
P.s. I want to make a playlist each month so here is the one for June:
Enjoy!
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