Drinking Tea
and shifting identities
Have you ever seen those superhero movies where the hero or the villain or whoever can’t control their powers and then there’s like this power surge and it goes everywhere?
That’s how I feel.
It feels like all the energy has been going…everywhere…and now I’m trying to reel it all back in. It feels contracting, exhausting, and frankly a bit weird. I want to narrow my focus, but also want to view life as a buffet.
I want life to be like a Golden Corral and I’m a kid going for the first time. I want to try everything.
I oscillate between wanting to do as much as possible and wanting to do absolutely nothing.
Maybe you feel similarly.
And if you do feel similarly, might I interest you in binging one of my favorite multi-dimensional shows, Midnight Gospel?
When I get really overwhelmed and in that push-pull energy of shifting identities while also not being totally sure where that identity is meant to go, I like to watch that show.
It feels like a giant exhale.
There’s just so much to take in. It’s so overwhelming that it’s actually calming.
And it just reminds you of what is possible for reality and that your life is as serious as you believe it to be. You can opt for humor at any moment.
And if you don’t feel this way, or any iteration of this way, then I wish you a very merry steady path and would like to treat you with the wholesome world that is Ted Lasso, a show so disgustingly kind that it makes you want to fully believe in the goodness of others as well as yourself (yes I did speak about Ted Lasso last week and no I will not stop). Reminding you that as long as you continue to own up to your mistakes, grow from, and continue to believe in yourself, your path will always shine brightly to guide you.
But, back to the rest of us that are drowning.
Along with feeling like all energy is everywhere, you may also feel like what I can only describe in meme format:
Everyone around you seems to see your potential and all the good things coming your way, so they say something really nice to you and you just think to yourself, “okay great, then support me.”
A few weeks ago I was in meditation and told my spirit guides that I didn’t feel supported and then I walked outside to find a parking ticket.
It made me laugh honestly.
I believe we experience reality through the lens that we fully believe. Like designing which window we want to look out of each day.
If you believe that life happens to you, then life will always happen to you. If you believe that you must prove your worth in order to receive, then you will receive tests.
Manifesting isn’t about calling something into the 3D. For me, it’s about having autonomy over our emotions and sensations, regardless of how reality looks.
Everything can be boiled down to a sensation, so why can’t you hold the sensation you desire right now? Why can’t you choose to experience it?
And this is where identity shifting comes in.
It feels like you’re moving into a new character. Or maybe like you’ve outgrown your shell and are looking for a new one.
I think it’s a species of crab, or some type of crustacean, that moves into a new shell at the ocean floor. When they do that, they are completely exposed, so hundreds of oher crabs form a circle to protect the crab as they move into the new shell. You’d see just this giant pile of crabs pinching at octupus and other sea creatures trying to get at the vulnerable crab.
When we shift identities, it can feel like that. And the crabs fighting off the sea creatures are a combination of our new habits, soothing routines and loved ones that support us.
Kind of like a healing team.
Ways to get through identity shifting
-first ask yourself the intention. Are you trying to push into a new space because you feel ready to experience a new version or are you pushing because you’re avoiding facing someone or something that is triggering you?
-write a list of sensations you’d like to release (some are very sneaky, like I just realized I’ve been holding the sensation of urgency for years)
-write a second list of what sensation you can replace with the ones you want to let go
-ask yourself what actions bring out those sensations you are looking to hold
-each morning, lay down and breathe, bring awareness to every part of your body, starting with your toes, and thank each body part for allowing you to shift and hold these new sensations
-watch Midnight Gospel
-allow any and all emotions to come up intentionally
-ask yourself, what is this teaching me
-maybe try this little ditty
-allow in some sort of chaos and roll with it
-for 3 days fully trust yourself. completely and truly. trust that every decision is leading you exactly where you want to be
We have to release in order to receive. Our bodies can only hold so much frequency, so when we go into phases of feeling everything and nothing all at once, we are probably trying to reorganize the energy that we are holding. That includes, purging what we no longer wish to.
It’s a strange feeling that I still have yet to fully trust.
I have to remind myself that I’m not all over the place. The projection that I’ve been healing is this idea that I am incapable of finding my path; that I have too many interests. As if that’s a bad thing.
So as I move into the identity of someone who does everything she wants and does it well, I’ve had to move through a loooot of chaos.
So this is a check in for me as much as it is for anyone reading this.
I hope this eases some feelings of uncertainty and congratulate you on choosing to shift anyway.
I’ll leave this newsletter with this design as a reminder that we expand outward not upward. When we expand, we must also accept the lower energies and move through them with grace.
May your intentions be pure and your sensation cocktail spicy.
P.S.
I will only be offering Human Design readings until the end of May, so if you wanted to experience that, book it now!
And in my identity shifting chaos moment, I decided to make an IG dedicated to design, Sacred Burrito, which you can follow here:
https://www.instagram.com/sacred.burrito/
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