Have You Tried Radical Responsibility?
Try it on
Welcome to the first Wednesday check-in!
In my newsletter this past Sunday, I spoke about how there is nothing but you and your experience; I wanted to expand on that.
I’ve said it many times, but you cannot step outside of yourself. You’ll never be able to step into another person’s reality to completely understand them nor will they with you. That’s what I mean; you only have your perception.
Something I’ve been exploring lately is this concept of radical responsibility.
Everything you experience is a projection of what is within you. And with radical responsibility as a tool, we can move through anything with more grace and with openness to teachings.
For me, this is a tool. This is not to say that everything shitty in your life is a direct result of you or that you shouldn’t feel upset about things in life.
This is a tool. And it is not for the faint of heart.
We get taught to be victims. All the media, advertising, society, tells us that we are the underdogs, that there is something outside of us crushing us into the pile of shit that we are. So when things happen, it is almost too easy to feel like the world is just kicking us over and over again.
But radical responsibility says “Hey. These shitty things may be happening, but there is a part of me that might want this to happen. Where can I open myself up and learn in this moment?”
Everything is a sensation right?
So maybe the parking tickets we keep getting is causing a sensation that a part of us is craving.
Before I go any further, I want to remind you.
This. Is. A. Tool.
Maybe you get sick. All the time. And you think you’ve just had the shittiest luck.
But, when we dig a little deeper, you remembered that your child self only really received unconditional love when they were ill.
So a part of you is craving love and connection, and your body is conditioned to believe in order to receive love, you must be sick.
Does that take away from the fact that you are sick? No. Being sick fucking sucks.
But, it may open you up to a deeper understanding of your desires and needs.
And from there, you might ask yourself, how can you open up to receiving love and trusting that you can receive love, without putting yourself into a victim state?
This tool helped me a LOT when I was working through my sexual trauma.
I kept getting into situations where I was assaulted or harassed or worse. And I was pretty checked out and afraid of even leaving the house by myself. I kept saying to people, “I have the craziest experiences.”
It wasn’t until I had to face my abuser and him reaching out after to hook up, that I realized where I could expand.
I wanted to punish myself. I was holding so much guilt from hurting a loved one that I wanted to feel like I was that low. I also was so afraid of receiving love that a part of me wanted to prove to myself that I would never experience it.
You might think I’m sympathizing with my abuser or avoiding pain by taking responsibility, and that’s okay. This tool isn’t for everyone.
But for me, it’s open me up to healing my self-worth. It’s allowed me to go out on this road trip and not fear someone talking to me at a bar or worrying about what crazy experience I was about to have that day.
I still have crazy experiences, don’t get me wrong. But, 90% of the time now the experience is with a loving animal running up to me in the park.
I just wanted to offer this tool for anyone that feels they are stuck in a loop they can’t escape from.
There is always a new perspective to experience.
Subtle Activation
What is a loop you are currently in, where you might want to try radical responsibility?
For the rest of the week, focus on that loop and ask yourself, “What part of me is desiring to be in this experience? What sensation am I craving?”
You might be surprised at what you discover.
More CITF
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