Revel//Reveal

Revel//Reveal

Share this post

Revel//Reveal
Revel//Reveal
May Monthly Musings

May Monthly Musings

I am Tense

Deanna's avatar
Deanna
Jun 01, 2023
∙ Paid
2

Share this post

Revel//Reveal
Revel//Reveal
May Monthly Musings
Share

Anger and Grief and Sadness and

Punching pillows until your arms give out is still the single best way to move through anger.

When I was younger I even tore the head and stuffing out of a teddy bear an ex gave me while crying and listening to Paramore. And when I was 21, I smashed a beautiful tea set my ex gave me; the musical echo of cracking porcelain was more therapeutic than any song written. There is something so potent about destroying a symbol of relationship as a makeshift cord cutting ceremony.

Are anger, grief, and sadness always tied so tightly? Do they always come rushing in?

Something I learned this month is anger is a secondary emotion. My friend Jenny (hey girl) was telling me how anger is typically a coating of something deeper. And then I discovered the “Anger Iceberg.”

So if you feel anger, along with punching pillows while playing your favorite high school emo band, might I suggest sitting with it and asking Anger to open up and show you what you are actually afraid of or where you might be ignoring your boundaries and values?

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-anger-iceberg-and-how-to-work-with-it-effectively

Fish Don’t Exist

This month I read Why Fish Don’t Exist by Lulu Miller and what a journey did it take me on.

Keep reading with a 7-day free trial

Subscribe to Revel//Reveal to keep reading this post and get 7 days of free access to the full post archives.

Already a paid subscriber? Sign in
© 2025 Deanna Imfeld
Privacy ∙ Terms ∙ Collection notice
Start writingGet the app
Substack is the home for great culture

Share