The Art of Letting Go

Is it even possible?

My favorite movie growing up was Kiki’s Delivery Service. I wasn’t a Disney kid, I was a Studio Ghibli kid. And I still stand by that.

The story of Kiki is about a young girl who learns she is a witch and when young witches turn a certain age, they must go out and find their own path.

Kiki feels she doesn’t have any witch skills besides flying, so she starts a delivery service in this town, until she loses her ability to fly.

My favorite part is when she meets this woman in the woods who tells her to stop focusing on flying.

Stop trying. Take long walks. Look at scenery. Doze off at noon. Don’t even think about flying. And then, pretty soon, you’ll be flying again.

—Ursula

My tiny human brain was so flustered when I heard Ursula teach me about letting go.

How can you start flying if you aren’t thinking about flying?

To this day I get confused at times. The idea of putting it off is great, but if you don’t focus on the skill, how can you possibly learn? I was the kid that had to pitch 20 perfect pitches in softball practice before I was allowed to go back inside. It wasn’t about ease, it was about focus.

My conditioning for consistency has been humbled time and time again, however. I would get so focused on learning a song on the piano, practice for hours trying to get it right, before finally getting flustered. Then when I release the song for a day, the next time I sit down, the song comes naturally.

Whenever I’m trying to paint something, I’ll stare at it for hours, and get so frustrated with how the way it is forming on canvas is not the way it shows up in my mind, then curse my skills and swear off painting, only to find the picture form easily when I rest.

Is that what letting go is?

Let go. It makes my skin crawl when someone tells me that. To let go.

It feels like everyone in the self-help and spiritual industry talks about this “letting go.”

The more you let go, the more detached you become, the easier things will flow to you. The more we release, the more we find.

In theory, that sounds lovely and beautiful. But, I have to ask, is that just a beautiful saying? Sometimes it feels like people are just saying words to sound poetic and ease the feeling of disappointment.

And then I’m humbled once more.

The Truth of Detachment

There is a loop of letting go most of us find ourselves in. We “let go” with the expectation that when we do this poetic act that we will receive what we desire. We are trying to hack the system.

Can it truly be letting go if we hold the expectation that this act will lead to the desired outcome?

Not really. That’s just performance.

It’s basically the equivalent of posting, telling everyone about a nonprofit they should donate to, without actually donating yourself.