Turn on Romance
Welcome to July
Welcome, to a month I am reclaiming as the month of the Romantic Hoe.
Romantic Hoe. n. A being who chooses to romanticize their life. Someone who becomes the muse, witnesses each flower, falls in love with a story. Also known as a slut for existence.
I go through these romantic phases, where I dedicate my day to finding love in the mundane. And I love it because these phases are the antithesis to who I was in my younger years.
I actively shot down the idea that I, a strong independent being, could enjoy romance. I scoffed at flowers, was disgusted by Nicholas Sparks, refused to daydream of “my person.”
I hated the idea that an experience forced me to rely completely on another to make it meaningful. Someone else has to buy me flowers, ask me out, choose me. I thought that was what it meant to be romantic, to long for another.
It wasn’t until a few summers ago that I realized a new truth of romance.
Romance isn’t about dependence. You don’t need anyone to deliver you into romance. It rests in your hands to find what you want romance to be.
I decided to dedicate my summer to discovering that.
For me, romance feels like unintentionally having a three-hour breakfast. To sit in the sun while sipping coffee until it gets cold. It feels like cutting up strawberries as a form of meditation. It feels like wearing a flowing dress on a windy day. Or laying in the grass and dreaming about walking on clouds.
Romance feels like presence.
A Romantic Hoe feels like someone who makes it a point to find moments of bliss in their presence.
I feel like a lot of people find presence to be about calmness, but what if it was intoxicating?
What if you got so wrapped up in how rich and juicy your life was you couldn’t be anything but present? Do you have a crush on yourself? On your current reality?
If you feel uncomfortable with the identity of a romantic hoe, may I also suggest being the art performance?
I think they are similar experiences in that you are finding new meaning in the small moments of your existence.
Be a hoe, be an art performance, be a muse.
Identify with a being identity where you can get so lit up by just existing that you find these moments sooo thicc with love.
The easiest way that helped me understand the concept of life as performance art is by playing Sims for a few hours. Play, fully unrestricted. Give yourself all the cheat codes. And then play completely broke. Or with one room. Or a mansion. Or as a vampire. Play as many possible ways you can.
When you see these avatars running around, still experiencing life with anything you throw at them, you get to see the autonomy you truly have over your own experience. If you choose to be the person that lives a magical life, you will start seeing magic everywhere. And if you choose to be the person that life just happens to them, well you’ll have experiences where you give up your autonomy.
Lately I’ve found myself being a hoe for windows. I get so jazzed about a unique looking window and all I want to do is exist in the space of that window. How cool is it that we were so obsessed with the beauty of nature that as we built up walls, we had to keep an opening to observe? (this isn’t factually proven)
So I ask with the most humble of hands, what are you a hoe for?
A New Structure
Moving forward, my plan for this newsletter is to offer up a topic each month, a playlist, an idea, and work through themes each week. I want to hold a space for you to share your story too. If called, you can submit a story and we will keep in anonymous. Let’s build a community where we can support while feeling seen.
This month, we’ll be diving into relationships, sexuality, the origins of romance.
For paid subscribers, you’ll receive a podcast, and for everyone else you’ll receive some words.
Enjoy your romantic hoe season xx
P.S.
We have some totes on our site! With some fancy-ass designs made with love.
https://www.tallyrose.net/shop
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Books I recommend: https://bookshop.org/shop/talularose
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